The room is silent. All you can hear is the sound of your own breathing and your slightly tempered heartbeat in the back of your head. Your nostrils flair as your vision shivers away from the floor. The hand in front of you pulls out a brick filled with pages as thin as a butterfly’s wing. It’s got a hard black surface with two gold words etched across the cover, “The Bible”. As your eyes read the words, your stomach sinks and the nausea floods back.
You lift your hand in slow motion because you already know what must be done. Shallow breathing turns to deep breaths of air – enough to inflate your lungs that are trying so hard to work against nature. You lick your chapped lips and speak, “I swear that the evidence that I shall give, shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God”. You slip your hand away from the book and place it in your lap. Many eyes flutter around the room and sit with anticipation. The process that is about to occur happens daily in America. It’s a justice system that filters the guilty from the innocent. It’s a way to keep the good people of this country safe from the bad. And it all starts with an oath to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You must be honest to the people of this country, so America can uphold its high standards of freedom and justice. But, you cannot just make a promise to your country, you must make a promise to God. Because God sees all and knows all. Because God is the one being you must never lie to for that is considered a sin. Because apparently this country is built upon God and faith as well as freedom. Freedom, that is, to choose our own sexuality, president, faith and religion, and be equal with everyone else. Let me give an example: Sexuality: capacity for sexual feelings; a person’s sexual orientation or preference. We have the freedom to choose our own sexuality. It is a right that every single citizen of the United States of America has. But for some reason, it is not okay to come out and admit that you are not straight. It should not have to be hard to tell the world who you really are and how you really feel. You should be able to do it and not be afraid of being judged or shunned. Leviticus 18:22 – You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. Hundreds of years ago, people were hung, stoned, or drowned because they liked their same sex. It’s not like someone said, “Hey! That’s not okay. Let’s make sure that for the rest of time society hates homosexuals.” People aren’t born to be haters. In fact, you aren’t born with any preconceived thoughts or beliefs. You aren’t even born with fear. People are groomed from the day they are born. Your parents raise you to have morals and values, and it is not until you are old enough to truly comprehend what all of those mean that you can then start to have your own thoughts and beliefs, which is why the idea of homosexuality being wrong had to have come from somewhere. The Bible and Christianity has been around for centuries. Our Founding Fathers obviously believed in the Bible and what it stood for. Their faith and religion was important to them, which is why they chose to let Americans practice whatever religion they wanted and allowed them to have something just as important for themselves. However, they based their beliefs, and ultimately this country’s beliefs, off what they thought was right, which was the Bible. The Bible – the thing that has been around for centuries, remember? The thing that has teachings in it that date back so many years that some people make a living off it with occupations devoted to the study of the language in which it was written so that they can tell us what it all means today. The men who put the laws, rules, and standards of this country together used their own beliefs to form all of it. They were not born thinking that being gay was wrong, they grew up practicing a religion that told them it was wrong. They grew up believing what was taught to them and used all that information to form their own opinions and beliefs. Now I’m not saying that the Bible is wrong or that Christianity is wrong. My point is that the men who put the constitution together, who created the foundation and basis of this country, were influenced by something that was important to them that is nearly three thousand years old. It is crazy to think that our beloved home and country is still running based on ideas that are almost three thousand years old while we can’t even keep up on the newest model of the iPhone. How can we expect to grow and develop as a country and society when we’re still trying to function off amendments written in 1787? Why do people still think it’s right to use the Bible as a convincing factor that someone will tell the truth. I mean no hate or judgement, but I don’t give a damn about the Bible. What makes a court think that me, an agnostic, is going to tell the truth just because you place a Bible in front of me and make me say a few words. Obviously, I wouldn’t sit in a court room and lie, but the Bible is not what’s making me tell the truth. Think about this – we’re living in a country whose constitution tells us, “No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.” In what scenario, in 2018, is that ever going to apply? When are we, as Americans, ever going to have to give our consent to house a soldier because they need a place to stay during a time of peace? This is from the same constitution that gives every American the right to bear arms. Now, I’m not saying I agree or disagree with this because my opinion on the matter isn’t important. However, I would like to point out that this specific amendment was written during a time when it was necessary to own guns. If Americans didn’t have, own, or use guns at the time this was written to fight for their independence and freedom then there would be no America today. All of that aside, I don’t get why the Bible is so relevant to today’s America. I don’t understand why Congress must pray before a session. I personally don’t pray, and I don’t practice any religion in which I would ever pray for anything, so why must this country single out all the people like myself and basically say, “Sorry, but we’re doing it anyway.” I thought I had the right to choose my own religion and faith, so why do I have to conform to something I don’t believe in just because it now has to do with politics and the way my country is run. Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of America? If God is so damn important to America, then why don’t we just have him run our country? In order to promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth you have to make an oath to the lord. Tell me, is that really freedom? Is that really a democracy? Is that really the way we run this country?
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It was the second time in my life I had seen a human’s face
So small and pale in a casket, the final resting place. The first was when I was young, and my memory was not keen. The second time I was older, and I remember everything. The smells of all the people who were hugging with streaming tears Searching eyes looking around for you, the man who is no longer here. The third is the day it happened, when we all said our goodbyes To a man who changed and influenced lives, one of which was mine. I did not know you well and I did not know you long But somehow that did not change my love for you, for it was very strong. You always said I love you, and you always knew why And I always said it back, without having to blink an eye. Yet somehow when I stood up to read a poem for you I felt like a fraud and a fake, even though my love was true. I looked at all the faces that longed to have you back, All the tears, sorrow, and broken hearts draped in cloth so black. I had no idea what they felt, the pain of losing your love, Of never seeing or hearing from you until they are up above. I stood up by the alter for you, to say a final farewell, And I spoke prewritten words about you that I never knew myself. Now I must confess something, a secret that clouds my heart. It has to do with you and me and when you finally made your part. I could not cry a single tear, even though I really tried. You see, the loss I felt when you were gone made me horrified. It was not that I would miss our chats on the telephone, Or that I would miss our card games and spending time alone. I could not feel sad about the times that we never even shared. What made me sad is that I never really got the chance to be there. I need to admit that I was jealous of those mourning you. I wanted to feel the same kind of loss and heartache too. I wanted to speak of you myself, with my own memories. I wanted to share of things we did and tell my own stories. I want to smile and laugh looking back at our inside jokes. I want to feel warmth in my heart when I hear our song on the radio. I want to feel like I knew you and am able to share your legacy, But unfortunately, I do not, and I cannot, and that is what truly hurts me. Now I know I did not know you well and I did not know you long, But somehow that does not change my love for you, for it is very strong. We may not have shared a lot, between you and me, But I realized something important: that our thing is that we are family. You always said I love you, without ever blinking an eye, And I always said it back Grandpa, and that is the reason why. |
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January 2021
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